Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
