Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
