We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
