I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
