Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
