She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
