This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
