It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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