wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
