so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
