he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
