I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
