if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
