Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Whod you bang
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
