For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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