So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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