I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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