this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
