I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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