Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
