dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
