i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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