R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
