Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
