He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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