it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
