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She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
