Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
