I think I just saw someone hide a body.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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