I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
