I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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