I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
