you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And then my night got REAL pukey
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
