Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
