Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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