She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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