singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
