So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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