Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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