She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
