My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
