So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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