you traded sex for a burrito?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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