do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
