I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
