Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
