Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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