I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
