he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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