When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
All I want is dick and wine.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
