Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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