You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Ketchup is God's man juice
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize