i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
