he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
