why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
