So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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