So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
