she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
