Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize