i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
