Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
