i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
