Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
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Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
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He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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