I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
