Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
