that's an acceptable place to lick
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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