I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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